39/Card45
From Various
[edit] Card 45
| Card #45 - Secret: Listening Device | |
 
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Stolen Archive files 45a and 45b: Transcripts of conversations recorded by the Lucians using their special listening devices
CONFIDENTIAL
(Lucian crest)
1961
Lucian agents installed a listening device at the White House to spy on American president JFK and his wife, Jackie. We learned valuable information about the Ekat/Tomas rivalry and their plan to take over outer space.
[sounds of someone entering a room]...
[sigh]
Jackie: What, dear?
JFK: This is getting unbelievable.
Jackie: Oh, don't worry about it. I'm sure the main bathroom will be fixed by tomorrow.
JFK: No, the Ekats.
Jackie: Again?
JFK: I know. It's always the Ekats. They're practically running the Russian space program.
Jackie: What did they do now? Is this about the moon?
JFK: Yes, of course. [sigh] It's always about the moon.
Jackie: Are they trying something crazy?
JFK: One of our spies just intercepted a document. They're a year away from setting up a moon colony. We have got to get there first.
Jackie: Who's "we"? The American people? Or the Tomas?
JFK: Neither. Both. I don't know. This is a Tomas country.
Jackie: George Washington was a Tomas!
JFK: I know but -- [soft knock at door] -- we'll have to talk about this later. That's probably McNamara again.
[END OF TRANSCRIPT]
CONFIDENTIAL
(Lucian crest)
1995
Lucian agents installed a listening device at CERN to spy on Ekat scientists. The fools are conducting dangerous experiments with black holes.
Scientist 1: So, yes. First a star explodes, producing a supernova, and then collapses into a black hole.
Scientist 2: And the closest black hole is hundreds of light years away.
1: More than a thousand.
2: But if you pass through a black hole, you end up somewhere else. Some other dimension maybe.
1: Probably not. Probably you die. [someone opens a drawer]
2: Could we create a black hole?
1: Are you crazy?
2: Just a small black hole.
1: Even a tiny black hole wouldn't be small after it expanded and consumed the planet!
2: What about Jupiter? What if we exploded Jupiter and collapsed it into a black hole?
1: We could not possibly exploded Jupiter.
2: Well, we have that, you know, that thing.
1: If that "thing" ever works, then we will talk about blowing up Jupiter, okay?
2: What about the moon?
1: We cannot blow up the moon! We just have to find another way to eliminate the Tomas.
[END OF TRANSCRIPT]
